June 30, 2010Matt C. thinks that the whole point of having a cake is to eat it. Why can you not have your cake and eat it too?!?!?!
⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
Sheldon R. This space for rent.
Jake C. our house is protected by the good Lord and a gun, you might meet both if you show up not welcome son.
Josh M. Negative candles are cantdles
Andrew M. Finally heard some good news coming out of the BP Oil Spill today — local fisherman report the tuna they’re catching are getting up to 35mpg. Nice.
Nathan I. Similarities between the World Cup and Obama: Over-rated, foreign people love it, the Kenyan team wins, and it only happens once in 4 years.
Nathan M. What? I can’t -bbbbbrrrrrrrrrzzzz- when the vuv -bbbbbrrrrrrrrrzzzz- know its loud but I -bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrzzzz- WELL IT’S A CULTU -bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzz-
5 Comments | 
Funny | Tagged: Facebook status collection, Facebook status ideas, facebook update, Funny, Funny Facebook quotes, funny statuses | 
Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
April 14, 2010Adam B. is sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.
Brittany F. When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.
Matthew C. thinks that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.
Jim G. india foxtrot yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november uniform november delta echo romeo sierra tango alpha november delta tango hotel india sierra charlie oscar papa yankee alpha november delta papa alpha sierra tango echo tango oscar yankee oscar uniform romeo sierra tango alpha tango uniform sierra
[^secret code 
]
Pallavi T. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Elizabeth B. ><(((((%>
26 Comments | All, Funny | Tagged: best facebook statuses, new facebook status, newest facebook statuses | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
April 7, 2010Brittany F. survey: Would you rather be a ginormous hampster or a tiny rhinocerous?
Ram G. You just read this sentence.
Thomas H. there are 365 days in a year but only 360 degrees in a circle. What happened to the other 5?
William F. Day man! Ahahaa!! Fighter of the night man. Champion of the sun. You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone!
Elizabeth B. They sell Universal remotes at Wal*Mart… can you believe that power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy.
Matthew C. used the search term “the perfect job for me” on google and it laughed at me.
Read all of the best funny facebook statuses at funnystatuses.com
6 Comments | Clever | Tagged: facebook, Facebook status ideas, Funny Facebook Status, Hysterical Facebook Statuses, status, status update | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
February 12, 2010These are some of the most clever, witty, funny and hysterical Facebook Statuses that you have submitted in the comments section.
Emery scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
Theresa C. is OCD and gathering her thoughts in alphabetical order…
Zoey Joy – Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold…
Brian … is anxiously awaiting Brett Favre’s annual cover of “Should I Stay or Should I Go”
Julia I am so ecstatic but why is nothing sticking to me?
Jeremy Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.
Keep submitting your Facebook statuses and you might get featured on the home page!
56 Comments | Clever, Funny | Tagged: best facebook statuses, best statuses, facebook, facebook status, facebook statuses | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
February 5, 2010Latest trend on Facebook is not what is technically called, Urbaning Here is the definition from Urban Dictionary:
| 1. | Urbaning | |
| February 4, 2010 Urban Word of the Day To look up your own name on Urban Dictionary, either for definition or myspace useage. |
Some version of this is put into the status:
Go to urbandictionary.com and look up your first name. Copy this in your status and what Urban Dictionary says about your name in the first comment…
Have some comments on this?
3 Comments | Meme | Tagged: facebook meme, facebook trend, Meme, status, Urban Dictionary, Urbaning | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
February 1, 2010Decided to occasionally pass on whatever meme seems to be sweeping through Facebook.
Feel free to comment on the current meme being highlighted or clue us in to the meme that is now spreading like wildfire over Facebook.
Current Meme: Change your profile picture to a celebrity you are supposed to look most like.
It’s Doppelgänger week; change your profile picture to someone famous you have been told you look like. After you update your profile with your twin photo, cut and paste this to your status . . .
or…
DOPPLEGANGER WEEK: During this week change your profile picture to someone famous (actor, musician, athlete) you have been told you look like…. and re-post this message
2 Comments | Meme, Profile Pics | Tagged: celebrity profile pic, facebook meme, facebook profile picture, Meme, profile picture | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
January 4, 2010Matthew C. thinks finding a job is like playing “Where’s Waldo?”… except Waldo is looking for a job too.
Ernie says to never play leapfrog with a unicorn
Matthew L. A good pun is its own reword.
Ernie wonders why the frisbee is getting bigger and then it hits me
Ernie will one day rule candyland with an iron fist (From AutoCompleteMe)
Brittany F. was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”
10 Comments | Clever | Tagged: Facebook status collection, status, status collection, status for facebok | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
December 30, 2009Flip your Facebook status for a really neat status.
Blake spɹɐʍʞɔɐq puɐ uʍop ǝpısdn plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sǝǝs (Use this tool for the effect)
Alan B. Tomorrow I’m gonna write a blog post about procrastination.
Michael C. Ironing boards: Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.
Ted C. became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.
Alex R. Can mute people burp?
Ernie to err is human, to arr is pirate.
2 Comments | Funny | Tagged: All, Facebook ideas, facebook statuses, flip text | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
August 17, 2009This is the one that had me cracking up, mostly cause it has a good bit of truth in it…
Robert D.”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
Micah G. wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.
Luke E. Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? It is giving me a false sense of anxiety.
James L. thinks the big apple will be an adjustment after a month without fruit or vegetables
Noah C. “Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them.”
Leave a comment with your brilliant Facebook Status!
52 Comments | Funny | Tagged: clever facebook status, Facebook status ideas, Funny Facebook Status, Funny Facebook Status Ideas, Hilarious Facebook status, original facebook status, Status for Facebook | Permalink
Posted by FunnyStatuses.com
